Vulnerable Strength
For Jo and I a few more days of good fishing
Regrettably, I
missed the entire run of ABC’s “Black-ish” while it was in
production. I kept telling myself, “I have to catch an episode,” but I never
did. Now that it’s in syndication, I’m still saying the same thing. The clips
I’ve seen on social media have been relatable, hilarious, and
thought-provoking.
I recently came across a clip from the show set during a grandfather-father-son retreat. The oldest son was crying, grieving the loss of a girlfriend. Unbeknownst to him, his father and grandfather were secretly observing.
The curmudgeonly, old-school grandfather urged his son to speak to the boy about his public display of emotion. The father then approached his son and urged him to stop crying, insisting that men shouldn’t express themselves that way.
The son responded, “Please look me in the eye. It’s just you and me right now. I know I must be strong when I’m around others. But are you telling me I can’t be vulnerable when it’s just you and me? Do you see me?”
They locked eyes in an awkward silence. Then, a single tear rolled down the father’s cheek, like Denzel Washington does in any one of his movies. He surprisingly embraced his son.
The grandfather, still watching from a distance, muttered, “This wasn’t how this talk was supposed to go.” And the reel ends.
The contrast between the grandfather’s “old school” mindset and the evolving emotional intelligence of the younger generation is effectively portrayed here.
This scene had a profound effect on me. Society often teaches men that vulnerability is a weakness, something to be avoided both publicly and privately. We're told to show strength and resolve in all situations.
And then we wonder why so many men in this country are angry. There’s no safe outlet for them to express what they’re truly experiencing. The result? There is a tremendous amount of pent-up frustration and rage.
Like a hot Instant Pot pressure cooker, those emotions are bound to release eventually, sometimes through hurtful words, physical violence, flight, or a chilling silence.
I’m not saying
we need a world full of whiny, overly sensitive, crybaby men. I’m saying we
need spaces where men can safely and appropriately process their pain.
Last week, I mentioned that God has an attentive, listening ear. That alone can lead to miraculous healing. Your sharing, and His caring, is one of the mysterious ways He works.
To all the
“manly men” out there, Christ Himself showed vulnerability, both publicly and
privately. And no one would call Him weak. On the contrary, His strength is
undeniable.
We often equate strength with silence, especially for men. But Scripture
reminds us that even Jesus, the Son of God, wept. He didn’t hide His sorrow. He
didn’t suppress His grief. He publicly showed us that vulnerability is not
weakness; it’s a form of strength. Here
are some passages confirming the point:
John 11:35Jesus wept.Matthew 26:37-38
He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and He became anguished and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”Luke 22:41-44
He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.
The last passage is one of the most emotionally raw moments in Scripture.
In a world that
tells us to “man up” and “hold it in,” Jesus invites us to let it out, in His
presence, in safe spaces, and with those who love us. Vulnerability is not the
absence of strength; it’s the evidence of trust and confidence.
May we all follow Christ’s example of courageous display of how He felt with those we can trust.
Mini prayer. Lord, help us to see that strength and vulnerability are not opposites. Teach us to create spaces where others, especially men. can be seen, heard, and healed.
Song of the Week -
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