Forgiveness Without An Apology

September Son-Day !!!   

The Opener



Forgiveness Without an Apology

Forgiveness is a wonderful gift to the victim and perpetrator.  Achieving full forgiveness can be challenging, if not impossible when there is no apology.

Now, I can take the quick route here in explaining how to accomplish complete forgiveness by reflecting Christ's experience from Judas' betrayal, Peter's 3-time denial, 39 whip lashes, a sham trial ending in a death sentence, mockery and torture while on the cross, and denial of His resurrection in the presence of the living God.  Yet Christ forgave even as a condemned man on the cross (Forgive them for they do not know what they do, Luke 23:24).  During these events, Christ did not receive an apology but forgave unrequitedly (expecting nothing in return). My counsel is concise, follow Christ's lead.

I will say it, "Thanks preacher man. That's easy to say, but I am still on a journey to achieving that level of enlightenment. Please provide some stepping-stones, I know you are praying for me and my family and I'm praying for yours".

Fair enough. I will point to the fact that even in His resurrected form, Christ still bore evidence of the wounds inflicted on Him while on the cross.  

John 20:26-28

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”  Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”  Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

 Christ could have appeared without signs of the torment.

FYI tangent - The wounds demonstrate that His body died on the cross is the same one the disciples see standing before them. Jesus has not taken up a new body; He is truly risen. The Greek word for resurrection is anastasis, which literally means “to stand again.”

I note this to say, you can have thorough forgiveness even with the wounds still intact.  You do not have to wait till you get to heaven to forgive.

Here are some stepping-stones to forgiveness.

The path to forgiveness without an apology is often a deeply personal journey. While an apology can be a significant step in healing, it's not always necessary or possible. Here are some steps that might help:

  • Start with some self-reflection. Acknowledge and accept what you are feeling.  Heavy laden
  • Lighten up on yourself.  We are awfully tough on our own humanity. Be nice to yourself. 
  • Understand that humanity is flawed.  There is no bullet proof vest to completely protect you.  But understanding this may help you cope.  Yesterday, before a game I told our teams there would be a lot of smack talking from the other team, which could your thoughts about your mother and to just smile and walk away.  Don't let their tactics get in your head.  The other team did not disappoint. Our team smiled and walked away.  The refs flagged the other multiple times for unsportsmanlike behavior.  None for our team.  One player from our team came to me and said, "Normally I start fighting when someone say anything about my mother, but smiling felt good and the other team did not have a comeback to it".
  • Let Go of Resentment: Holding onto anger and resentment can be harmful to your mental health. Find healthy ways to release these negative emotions, such as journaling, meditation, or talking to a trusted friend.
  • Don't wallow in the negative, pursue your healing. Do activities that bring you joy and peace. It's a salve to the wound.
  • Consider Professional Help: If you're struggling to forgive or move past the situation, a therapist can provide valuable guidance and support.
  • Be patient. Implementing the above can take time.  Acknowledge and celebrate progress landmarks in your forgiveness quest.
  • Talk to someone trustworthy who will help you move on.  Hmmm, say a pastor, family, or a good friend.
  • Lastly, never doubt the power of prayer or a prayerful partner. James 5:16 tells us to, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”.  Humble yourself to get help.

Forgiveness is actually something we must do for ourselves, so we won’t be filled with bitterness. It isn’t about the other person deserving or earning forgiveness, it is about giving ourselves the gift of a peaceful heart. 

Unforgiveness produces powerless rage and bitterness that consumes the good person you are. Pray to release bitterness, rage, resentment, so you can be free.

Forgiveness increases joy, well-being, and serenity (i.e., calm, peaceful, and untroubled; tranquil)! I wish that for all of you.

Next up: Overcoming regrets.

Song of the Week - Hallelujah! Sing a New Song to GOD. Sing HIS praise in the assembly of godly people. Psalm 149:1.

"Made New"  (featuring Madison Ward), May 2024, Jason Nelson

The lyrics and choral arrangement slow you down.  Then you are bouncing with the song.  Joyful experience and that is my strength.



Made New Lyrics

A son of man

I've tried my best not to fall and hurt again

Cause when I do

I have to start from the beginning

And then I can't help but think I'll never get it


But You said:

I will make

A way for you in wilderness

And I'll create

Rivers in the sand

All it takes

Is willingness to trust in me

And I'll make you better than you've been

Oohh


So first I hid in Christ

And then He changed my life

I've been made new

Oohh

Forgetting what's behind

My future's on the line

I've been made new


Here I am

Still asking for the Lord to do it all again

Cause change is hard

I'd rather ask

For repetition

Because it's safer than faith in new beginnings


You said:

I will make

A way for you in wilderness

And I'll create

Rivers in the sand

All it takes

Is willingness to trust in me

And I will make you better than you've been

Oohh


So first I hid in Christ

And then He changed my life

I've been made new

Oohh

Forgetting what's behind

My future's on the line

I've been made new


Oohh first I

So first I hid in Christ

(And then He changed my life)

And then He changed my life

I've been made new

Oohh

Forgetting what's behind

(My future's on the line yeah)

My future's on the line

I've been made new


He didn't have to find me, oohh

He never lost His way

He's standing right beside me

And that will never change


I know You make all things new

You said in your word it's true

As long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new

God You make all things new

There's nothing left to do

For as long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new


I know You make all things new

You said in your word it's true (You said)

As long as live in You (Behold You're making all things)

Behold You're making all things new

God You make all things new (There's nothing left for me to do)

There's nothing left to do

For as long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new


New beginnings

And brand new joy

Brand new life

Behold You're making all things new

Brand new me

Brand new you

Brand new we yeah

Behold You're making all things new


God You make all things new

There's nothing left to do

As long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new

God You make all things new

There's nothing left to do

For as long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new


Na na na na na...

Behold You're making all things new

Na na na na na...

Behold You're making all things new


Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold behold You make me new

La la la la la...

Behold You make me new


God You make all things new

There's nothing left to do

As long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new

God You make all things new

There's nothing left to do

For as long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new


Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new

Behold You're making all things new


Can y'all give it up for Madison Ryann Ward


I wonder if the church could sing a little bit tonight

Let me hear you


Na na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na

Na na na na

Na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na na

Na na na na na


Behold You're making all things new

There's nothing left to do

As long as live in You

Behold You're making all things new


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